I have loved being in Cusco, but saying goodbye to warm showers, cold drinks, and the comfort of knowing the language around you isn't so easy. There has been one thing that has kept me going and lately I've been so greatful.
The first few weeks here have been especially difficult for me. I was in a new country with no idea about any of the cultural norms, trying to learn a language that I felt like I just wasn't getting, and not to mention trying to shower as little as possible because the showers are freezing cold here. (Gross, I know...) I was intimidated to talk to my home-stay family because, even though I could think of plenty of things to talk about, I couldn't effectively communicate what I wanted to without getting frustrated.
People all around the world turn to religion as a source for peace. I am one of these people. The second Sunday that I was in Peru I decided that I wanted to go find a church to go to. I found one that is about a 15 minute walk from my house and went on my way.
I walked through the gate and then through the front doors. I had no idea where I was supposed to go and I really didn't know how to ask anyone other than saying, "Donde?" I asked one lady that seemed really nice and she motioned for me to follow her upstairs. There I found the chapel and took my seat. It was already 5 minutes past 9 a.m. and the meeting had already started; there were only about 20 people in the room at that point. About 15 minutes went by and more than 50 people had trickled in during that time.
During the meeting I had no idea what was going on. The hymns we sang were the only thing that I understood slightly because of the familiar tune. The sacrament was passed, a few speakers spoke, and then the meeting ended with me still only recognizing a few words.
I followed the crowd of women into Relief Society and took a seat. Everyone was going around introducing themselves, and when it finally got to me I got so nervous that I forgot everything I had ever learned about Spanish... I even forgot my name. They just gave me a sympathetic smile followed by some slight chuckles until one of the missionaries who spoke English helped me out. Needless to say I was embarrassed.
Even though my first experience at church in a foreign country may have not been the best, it taught me to remember what is really important. As I have been here one of my missionary friends, who is also in Peru, emailed me to remind me that it's not just about studying till your brain is fried, and that its also not just sitting back and hoping that the language will just come to you. It's about having faith. Something I have always been reminded of is that faith is an action word. You can ask God for all the help you want to, but you still have to put in the work. God doesn't just give his children things; if He did how would we learn? We have to work hard for what we want, and trust me, I've been trying.
It was so frustrating at first. I was studying every day and trying to speak in Spanish as much as I could but I felt like I wasn't retaining any of it. But I am so greatful for that experience because it taught me a very valuable lesson. Be patient. Be patient with yourself. Looking back I realize, of course it's going to be hard especially in the beginning. I was learning up towards what seemed like 200 new words a day and then only retaining maybe 10... It was so frustrating. There were times when I told myself and my family, "I don't think I'm going to come back fluent".
As I have started to more consistently read in Spanish, (especially the Book of Mormon), I have been able to retain more of what I learned, and I have been able to see the promises I sought beginning to be fulfilled. This week I was sick for a few days and wasn't able to go to my internship. During this time I had a lot of time to study and practice my Spanish. When I finally returned yesterday, I started talking to the dentists and they were both very impressed saying that my speaking has improved a lot! That moment was when I realized that I am actually progressing and learning, it was just hard for me to see in the moment because I'm not on the outside looking in.
I know that I still have a lot of work to do...lemme tell ya conjugating verbs is difficult! Even if I don't come back fluent, I will still know more than I did before, which for me is enough (although I would really love to be fluent). If you made it all the way through this post I just want to say I am so grateful for you and all of the support you give to me.
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